Happy New Year!

This week began the holiday season for Jews around the world. For many interfaith families, the holiday season begins with Rosh Hashanah (the New Year) and goes through to Passover with a mix of Jewish and Christian holidays in between. Celebrating Jewish holidays is different than celebrating Christian holidays in many ways. Jewish holidays start the night before the date of the holiday and revolve around either attending services or being with family; some holidays do not include attending services, in which case, the holiday is celebrated at home. The High Holy Days are celebrated in Synagogue, and in my husband's family, we have a family dinner on Erev Rosh Hashanah (Erev is the "night before.") 

Apples and honey help to usher in a sweet new year

I've been celebrating the High Holy Days with my husband's family for 30 years now. During those first years, my father-in-law was a congregational Cantor, so, we didn't have a leisurely family meal. After dinner we dashed off to services. I still have a vivid memory from those first evening holiday services -- arriving at Temple to see the congregants mulling about at the steps to the building. When the service was over, they stood outside talking as well. This never happened at my church. Maybe it's because we went to Mass every week, so we saw other congregants regularly. Sure, there were those who attended Mass only on Christmas and Easter but not our friends. Some Jews attend weekly services for Shabbat (each Friday/Saturday), but most do not. Many, especially those with grown children, only pass through the doors of the Synagogue for the holidays. Spending time together before services start is a way to catch up on the past year. It's community. 

Something that shocked me early on is that you actually need a ticket to attend Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services. As a result, it is a common to join a congregation just before the High Holy Days. We joined our Synagogue a few weeks before the start of the holidays, when our son was a newborn and our daughter was 3. It bothered me so much that there was a children's service, separate from the adults. In my Catholic upbringing, everyone attended Mass together. (Our Church never had a crying room.) However, only 1 Mass per year was any longer than an hour, and we never went to it. A typical Rosh Hashanah service is 3 hours long. The highlight of the service is thesounding of the Shofar. One of the first things my husband did was to sound the Shofar.  

Sounding the Shofar at Tashlich on Rosh Hoshanah

When we left our Synagogue - 7 years ago now - we started a Kehilat, a community of prayer. That was in July. Since the Jewish calendar revolves around the High Holy Days, our new community needed to begin planning for our own High Holiday services as soon as we formed. Unlike a Catholic Mass, which needs a priest, a Jewish service can be led by a lay person; my husband was asked (or offered) to lead services. He spent the two months meeting with our liturgical committee and pouring over the prayer book to design the services. Once again…I knew he was Jewish, but not this Jewish. For 5 years, my husband acted as Rabbi and Cantor for a "congregation" of 100 or so. They came back year after year to enjoy the service that he and the liturgical committee put together. These services were bittersweet. Our reason for being together was sad, but being together was a sign that we were committed to being part of a Jewish community. 

Prayer Book Prepared for High Holy Day Services

The uniqueness of our Rosh Hashanah service revolved around its location. The service was held in a park - rain or shine. We had hot mornings, cool mornings and one with full-blown thunderstorms. Through the 15+ years I have attended services as an interfaith mom, these outdoor services were the highlight of my journey. Services are often, for lack of a better word, generic. They are nothing like the spiritual connection to G-d that I had as a Catholic. Although our service was in the park, everyone still dressed as we would for services in the Synagogue - suits, dresses, heels. However, we each carried a lawn chair with us. Sitting on a lawn chair in a pavilion surrounded by trees and a lake gave the new year an inspirational start. My husband takes great pride in bringing meaning to services - through music and teachings. He never discussed the service with me prior to it happening, so I entered the "room" just like anyone else in the congregation. It was always interesting to hear my own husband give the D'var Torah (like a homily/sermon) and to hear his spiritual side emerge. As much as we discussed the logistics of having an interfaith family, we never discussed the spiritual side. As a result, this was eye-opening. 

Our View During Services

At the conclusion of each morning Rosh Hashanah service, we joined together for lunch in the park. We ate together as a community -- one that began as a result of much angst. This holiday service was a milestone each year. We wondered if we would ever join together again in the building from whence we came. Spoiler alert - we've been back at our Synagogue for 3 High Holy Days as of this year.

After services, we join others by a stream, lake, or creek for a lesser-practiced tradition of Tashlich. For a Catholic, it is reminiscent of Confession but with a much more positive spin. You bring a piece of bread to the water, tear off pieces representing the wrongs of the year that you'd like to cast aside, and toss them into the running water. This casting away of your sins gives you the opportunity to start the new year with a fresh slate. 

Tashlich by the River

Tashlich at the Lake

L'Shanah Tovah!