Oy to the World!

Oy! I love this guy, but now my daughter wants to go to Christmas Eve Mass with him.

My previous post was from a guest blogger. She and I were having a conversation about this time of year - Christmas. Her newly-engaged (to a Catholic boy) daughter, who is planning to raise her children Jewish, mentioned that she is going to go to Christmas Eve Mass with her fiance. Her mother was surprised by her own reaction. She and I talked about it.

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"I am very conscious about not sounding 'too Jewish'. I want him to like Hanukkah and not make it seem difficult. I want him to have an appreciation for light, miracles, and re-dedicating yourself to something." For this mom, Hanukkah is clearly not just about lighting candles and giving gifts.

At the same time, she doesn't want her future son-in-law to feel like, "If you do this (raise your children Jewish), you can't do what's in your heart." She doesn't want to negate his feelings. And what about her daughter's feelings? This mom is concerned that her daughter may water down her own beliefs because she doesn't want her future husband to feel bad.

This young man lives far from home, and he is looking forward to spending time with his parents at Christmas. Although he hasn't been practicing Catholicism for years, he grew up going to Catholic school. In recent years, he has embraced the home-based Jewish ritual and tradition of his future wife's family, but he has only gone to services a couple of times. This mom wonders, "When he goes to Mass on Christmas Eve, will it all come back to him? The feelings? The beliefs?" She wonders, "Is this simply a season to him, or is it about religion? And what does that mean?"

She thinks deeply about how a child sees Christmas and how and adult sees it. She wonders if her future son-in-law, as an adult, will think about the miracle of Christmas and how it applies to the modern world and his own experiences. Or is it simply a holiday? She wonders if he thinks about what kind of light he lets into his life during this season of light.

Speaking of light, she has always delighted in the lights, the music, and the happiness of Christmas. She sees frolicking, goodness, and people being nice to each other. So, her thoughts go from Christmas Eve to the possibility that her daughter will someday have a Christmas tree. She thinks that will be okay with her, since Christmas trees have no religious significance (although some might debate that). She sees it as festive and fun. However, then she remembers that when she was a young girl, her grandfather had refused to enter her house until the family removed the Hanukkah bush! Maybe it's not just about being festive. Oy!

Of course, she could ask her future son-in-law and her daughter about the thoughts that are keeping her up at night. She doesn't want to "rock the boat." After more consideration, she says, "I need to ask; I want them to think."

Yep, this Interfaith thing is easy!