Out of Sight - Out of Mind?

We just dropped our daughter off to begin her second year of college at one of the largest universities in the United States. One of the many things I wondered about when she started college was whether or not she would participate in religious experiences on campus.

When she was "talking" with prospective roommates via text and Facebook, she had put together a list of questions to ask. This being new to me, since, back in the day, roommate assignments were random, I asked her what she was asking. I was shocked that one of her questions was along the lines of, "I’m Jewish. Is that okay with you?" Yikes! It never dawned on me, the interfaith mom, that this would be a concern she would have. Fortunately, she found a roommate who is happy to hear about how her family celebrates the holidays.

As huge as her university is, our daughter discovered something that shocked her. She is the first Jew that most of her friends had EVER met! Yes, the FIRST! She also discovered that universities don't close for Jewish holidays.

I marveled midway through the year that my Christian friends, family, and acquaintances were so disappointed that their children missed Easter at home. My daughter had already missed being home for all of the big Jewish holidays - Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover, and yes, the minor, yet family-oriented, Chanukah.

Our family has always fully participated in the Jewish holidays - at home and in Shul. As you know, the High Holidays are about 5 minutes into the school year. We have always been fortunate that our school system closes for the High Holidays.  I wondered if our daughter would attend services for Rosh Hashanah. Would she fast for Yom Kippur?

 As a young woman out on her own for the first time, she had to go to her professors and let them know that she'd either miss class or be late for class, so that she could attend services. In order to do this, she had to be comfortable in her Jewishness. She had to have no fear that her desire to practice her faith would be questioned. She had to have a strong Jewish identity.

When the school year started, she knew one guy from home who attended the same school. They had worked together in religious school, but they weren't particularly close until the end of Senior year. She was happy to run into him at RH services. He was sitting with a young woman, whom he had met at a Jewish activity back near home. They invited her to join them for YK services. Before I knew it, they were hanging around together at college. The girls baked Challah together at Hillel. They went to a couple of Shabbat services together. She had made her Jewish connection.

On my visit just before Chanukah, I arrived with a suitcase filled with 8 small gifts. She got a kick out of that. That's when I saw her cute little Christmas tree - about 12 inches high. It was right next to the menorah that our dear friend made for her and the cheap electric one that we got for her in Senior year to be sure she had one in college. On the first night of Chanukah, we Face-Timed with her to sing the blessings and light the candles. We lit ours; she lit hers. We sang. 

Since she is one for tradition, it quickly became one. Each night, she joined us to light the candles.  Each night, more of her friends would join us virtually - Christians and Jews alike. When the Jewish friends joined her, it was delightful to hear them all join us in singing the blessings.

As Passover approached, she planned to come home for the Seders. It was perfect since it would be on Friday and Saturday nights. We weren't hosting this year, but she wanted to bring two of her Christian friends home with her to join us. Our wonderful hosts generously said yes to her request. Everything was set, until she realized that her friends' classes ended too late to catch the bus. "Mom, will you come get us?" 4 hours there; 4 hours back. 3 hour Seder. "Of course, I'll come." How could I say no, when I had worked so hard for 19 years leading up to this moment?

So, here we are after dropping her off at school to begin her second year. The holidays are a bit late this year - in October. She'll be deep into classes by then. Looking forward to seeing how she lives her Jewish life this year.